beneath the surface
Aug. 11th, 2013 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
geurimjai guess people cannot live without any secrets. i think it's natural that people will start to feel uneasy when they think that everyone around them knows everything about them. they need a side that they can hide from others because it keeps their sanity. it's possible that having everything out in the open can make someone feel trapped. thus, this hidden side that people have is their "safe place" - the place where they can let the thoughts that kept to themselves run free without anyone judging them, the place where they can pretend to be someone that they aren't without anyone catching them. it's like having "another life" while being hidden maybe inside their room or some place else where they can keep the people from the outside world from entering.
however, i also think that these "secrets" are hard to hide. at one point or another, people will want to share them. normally, they will talk to people who are really close to them. on the other hand, there are some who wants to share these "secrets" to the world but they don't want people - especially those who are close to them - to know that they were from them. the simple reason is because they are afraid to get judged. people live in a very judgmental world. even people's own family and friends judge them for what they think and it hurts because people just want to be heard. keeping something for so long can also drive people crazy, which is why they need to talk to someone but that someone might not do what they want them to do, which is to just listen.
this is how i think because this is how i feel. there are things that i'm keeping to myself because i know i can't tell anyone about them. i'm scared of what they might say and i'm scared that they might not look at me the same way again. i don't want to lose the people i love because of these stupid secrets but i feel like i'm suffocating myself because of them. i want to shout these secrets to the world but i don't want the world to know that it's me who's shouting them. it's pathetic but i don't care. the internet gave the people the privilege to hide who they really our. we make friends even though we only know their usernames and use their display pictures as their faces. thus, i'm going to maximize this privilege.
i will fill this place with thoughts that i will never share to people i see everyday. i will publish stories and make people think that a different person wrote them. i want the world to know my thoughts and stories but as a different person. being a coward will keep me safe from the harsh reality that can throw at me. being a coward is my only way to protect the dark corners of my mind that i can't bravely share to everybody.
however, i also think that these "secrets" are hard to hide. at one point or another, people will want to share them. normally, they will talk to people who are really close to them. on the other hand, there are some who wants to share these "secrets" to the world but they don't want people - especially those who are close to them - to know that they were from them. the simple reason is because they are afraid to get judged. people live in a very judgmental world. even people's own family and friends judge them for what they think and it hurts because people just want to be heard. keeping something for so long can also drive people crazy, which is why they need to talk to someone but that someone might not do what they want them to do, which is to just listen.
this is how i think because this is how i feel. there are things that i'm keeping to myself because i know i can't tell anyone about them. i'm scared of what they might say and i'm scared that they might not look at me the same way again. i don't want to lose the people i love because of these stupid secrets but i feel like i'm suffocating myself because of them. i want to shout these secrets to the world but i don't want the world to know that it's me who's shouting them. it's pathetic but i don't care. the internet gave the people the privilege to hide who they really our. we make friends even though we only know their usernames and use their display pictures as their faces. thus, i'm going to maximize this privilege.
i will fill this place with thoughts that i will never share to people i see everyday. i will publish stories and make people think that a different person wrote them. i want the world to know my thoughts and stories but as a different person. being a coward will keep me safe from the harsh reality that can throw at me. being a coward is my only way to protect the dark corners of my mind that i can't bravely share to everybody.
